Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Randomize
