I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
