You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
there was a trapeze. enough said
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
