billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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