My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
