I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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