why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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