i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
