Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
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I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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