I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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