So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
