Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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