living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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