you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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