if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
