Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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