Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize