nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
