Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This is my gift to your gina
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
