She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
