apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
