i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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