just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
