haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You were trust falling into bushes
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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