when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
