I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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