No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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