so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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