Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
