So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
