So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
What a dumb baby whore.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
