It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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