WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
