I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize