he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
