Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
