he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
