I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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