its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
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All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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