I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
