I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize