No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize