omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
