oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
