so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
