Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize