i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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