their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
