She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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