It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
