It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
