My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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