Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
