I'm really into asian looking animals
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
